The Gauntlet Challenge- Day Thirteen

Still sick, and basically useless. I located the necessary paperwork for admissions. 

I kind of wish I could go back in time and retake my GED. My scores would have been so much better had I actually bothered to study. Going in to take my GED test after years of no schooling or studies was not my brightest idea. 

I’m going to go ahead and share my scores with you. 

1. Language Arts/Reading Skills         Score: 800     Percentile Ranking: 99%

2. Language Arts/Writing Skills          Score: 550      Percentile Ranking: 69%

3. Mathematics                                          Score: 480      Percentile Ranking: 42%

4. Science                                                    Score: 600      Percentile Ranking: 84%

5. Social Studies                                       Score: 550       Percentile Ranking: 69%

Total:                                                                  2980

I could have done so much better. 

Here is a link to some interesting information about GED scores: 

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080226151134AAuCvO5

My average was 596, which lands me in the 501-600 category with an estimated 3.0-3.4 GPA. 

I am a perfectionist. I realize this, and I realize that it has been my biggest downfall in my formal education thus far. 

I was homeschooled until age 14 when I entered public high school. I remember agreeing to it because my brother was also going. I didn’t think I could do it, but I figured if my brother could, I could, too. When my brother went to high school, he had to go in one year behind. I was able to enter 9th grade, right where I was supposed to be. I remember thinking that there was no way I’d be able to handle it if I had to be held back a year. My brother didn’t seem too bothered, though. I was very impressed. 

At the time, I don’t I knew what a perfectionist was, let alone that I was one. I don’t know where it came from. I’m sure someone could read all my entries on here “My Story” and probably give me some ideas of why I might have become a perfectionist, but I suppose it doesn’t even matter at this point. 

I failed my classes and dropped out of high school all because I got a C on a geometry test. I was really struggling in that class because the teacher was just so unhelpful. I don’t know how I decided that a C was a failing grade in my eyes. Perhaps because it’s so close to a D, which is just a disgrace. I often wonder if I would have finished high school had I gotten a B on that test. When I got a C, I gave up. I went to school every day, but I did nothing. I was in English Honors II, and I just gave up on everything. Then I dropped out. 

I did with everything. If my grades weren’t perfect, I gave up and quit. In fact, I knew I did poorly in the math section of my GED, and because of that, I didn’t even bother to go back and get my scores until TWO YEARS later. I had assumed I’d failed, so I didn’t bother finding out. I finally went because curiosity just got the better of me, and I found that I had passed. I was happy, but also disappointed. 

From these reflections, I have realized that I cannot allow this to happen again. I need to accept that I am not perfect and my grades will not always be perfect. I need to accept that I can only do my best, and if it is passing, it will have to be good enough. I hate that term: good enough. 

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