The Gauntlet Challenge- Day Seventeen

I’m scared. 

I’m scared I don’t have what it takes to go to college properly. 

I’m scared I don’t have support I may need in classes or just in general. 

I’m scared I won’t be able to afford… anything. 

I’m scared I’m not responsible enough. 

I’m scared I’m not good enough.

I’m scared I’m not capable enough. 

I’m scared I’m not stable enough. 

I’m scared I’m not focused enough. 

I’m scared I’m not disciplined enough. 

I’m scared I’m not independent enough. 

I’m scared I don’t have enough willpower. 

I’m scared I don’t have enough passion. 

I’m scared I don’t have enough motivation. 

I’m scared I don’t have a good enough handle on my anxiety. 

I’m scared I’m not smart enough. 

I’m scared I’m too ignorant. 

I’m scared I’m just setting myself up for colossal failure. 

I’m scared. 

 

Fear: 

Fear is one of the most powerful inhibitors. Fear can keep you in stasis. Fear can ruin your life if you let it. 

The first steps to overcoming fear is recognizing it, acknowledging it, facing it. 

I recognize and acknowledge my fears. I’m damn determined to face them, but I’m going to be scared all the way. 

 

I’m going to fail at giving references here because I’m simply re-exploring things I’ve learned in the past. This does not mean I’m not learning something new. The mind is an incredible tool and one can learn something new by merely thinking, without access to newly introduced information. 

 

Where does fear come from? Fear comes from the past and the future. The past plays the greatest role, because our fears often develop from things which we have experienced before. The future can garner fear, too, because it is unknown and people tend to fear the unfamiliar. 

Almost everything on my list of fears comes from the past. If I allow my fears to consume me, I will always live in the past. 

There are only two things on my list which I would say are not from past experiences- not having support and not having money. 

Support: I have been my own support and relied on myself to get what I need done for many years now. There’s no reason to assume I’ll stop anytime soon. 

Money: Money comes and goes. It is a huge issue, but no matter what’s going on, it will still come and go. I’m not stupid, and I’m fairly creative, so I can and will find a way to manage. Always. 

 

Overcoming Fear: 

As far I’m aware, and from what I’ve learned over the years, the best ways to overcome fear are by A) exposing oneself to the fears, and B) learning. 

Exposure is a common way to overcome fear. There have been many studies on this, none of which I can reference right now. Face what you fear and your anxiety reduces over time. However, if you have bad experiences while facing your fears, that only makes it worse, obviously. 

I used to have a severe anxiety about making phone calls. I know that’s silly, but it is what it is. When I had to sort my hospital bills and search for a roommate, I was forced to make many phone calls. I no longer experience that level of anxiety. It has become just another chore on the to-do list. I don’t like making calls, but I don’t feel like I’ll have a panic attack anymore. 

As for learning being a method of overcoming fears, this one is more personal. Knowledge is power for me. I began experimenting with this when I was a kid. I was deathly afraid of spiders, so I decided to learn about them. Studying spiders helped me overcome my fear of them. 

It’s obvious that learning about something can help eliminate fear. The people who make racist comments about the Muslim flight students at my hotel are just afraid. It still makes me angry, but I know they’re acting out of fear. If they would take the time to learn about the students, they would see that they have nothing to fear. The students at the hotel are Muslim, but they don’t take their religion very seriously at all. They don’t pray the way they’re supposed to, according to their religion. They don’t follow Muslim laws. They act like all the rowdy college boys I’ve ever met, regardless of nationality or religion. Muslim terrorists are religious extremists who attack in the name of their beliefs and their god. These boys don’t care enough about their religion to be terrorists. Rather than being preoccupied with praying and worshiping god, these guys are preoccupied with getting high and having sex. It’s possible they’re not wonderfully moral people, but they are far from terrorists. 

 

Just writing out all my fears and thinking about them is helpful. I already have new ideas for several of my fears, although some of them simply cannot be addressed until I am actually in college and facing them. 

 

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